Before I fully introduce my family, I want there to be an understanding of
why I blog. I want to give you a little background, of who I am, and why I am so openly expressing my life to you. Let's start off by being honest. I have had blogs in the past, and am
a little hesitant to start this blogging thing again for a few
different reasons. At times, some of you may find these unfortunate,
"natural man" tendencies or moments in yourselves, as well, or at least I
would like to think that I was not alone in my thought processing:
The Photo Envy
For
me, blogging started out fresh and honest. Then I started exploring
diverse blogs and soon gained photographers anxiety. The perfectionist
in me started to bearishly evoke as I compared my photographs to
others. I found myself spending hours trying to capture the memories,
that no longer became genuine moments because I missed them trying to
find the perfect lighting, attach the right lens and choose the perfect
setting on my camera. The after-math would be re-staging the moment so
that I could later blog about it, and of course include a documented
photograph of the event. Talk about the opposite of creating and
soaking in sweet memories. This was defiling every belief I had as a
photographer! Blogger's photo envy got the best of me, and it
distracted me from the genuine purpose of why I started a blog to begin
with. My blog quickly took a sharp turn into a giant insta/posed/agram,
rather than a journal entry of life's documentation. I found myself
posting only photographs rather then exploring written journal entries
of candid emotions, tastes, smells and real tangible memories. Don't
get me wrong, sometimes I believe a photograph is better than words, but
not always.
The Folded Laundry
This
is the bloggers poisen. Venturing into the bloggers world, I quickly
learned that life is perfect for everyone else. None of my fellow
bloggers ever had bad hair days, never fought with their spouse, always
had GAP dressed children, went on fabulous dreamy vacations, and seemed
to eat greasy french fries and fatty hamburgers without ever gaining a
pound. (Because everyone has to post photos of what they eat, you
know. Even a quick trip to McDonald's...did they really eat those
french fries or is this another hoax to create a false reality?) Life
seemed to be picture perfect for almost everyone. I don't believe we
need to stand on a soap box and air out our dirty laundry for the
world to see, however, doesn't anyone ever write about simple, no good,
very rotten days? It seemed to me everyone kept their laundry clean and folded when blogging. I just couldn't keep up with the Joneses.
The Chore
Could
it be possible that because of my new found photo envy, and realization
that I don't have the most current fashions or the perfect family, that
blogging lost its luster altogether? Blogging soon became dreaded,
something I felt I
had to do. As crazy as it sounds, I started
to lose sleep over the idea of it. The chore of blogging made me
realize I wasn't blogging for me. I was blogging for....who? Friends?
Family? Complete strangers? This conclusion baffled me...
baffles me. I decided to ditch the blog altogether. Who needs this mental anxiety that social media has created?
So this is it. My introduction, about us, no apologies post.
This is me, my sweet baby boy, and my husband.
We are not perfect.
Infact, there couldn't be two people more opposite in the universe who decided, "hey let's get married!"
I am an idealist, and he is a realist.
I am the queen of homeopathy and he is in Pharmacy school.
I love to recieve gifts, he loves to be touched.
I like to stay inside on snowy days and he loves to snowboard.
I am always trying to tame my inner nerd, he is cool as a cucumber.
I speak out, he is an observer.
I love to dress up, he's comfortable in tennis shoes.
I say the sky is blue, he says it is midnight blue.
However, in retrospect, it works for us and somehow, we couldn't be more perfect for one another. Our differences have created a complimentary relationship, at times difficult, but most days rewarding and fulfilling.
My husband would not think to buy me flowers for no reason at all...
...but he is an amazing dad. And that is more fulfilling to me.
I cannot emulate perfection.
I cannot portray something we are not.
Instead, I can offer tender hearts and simple joys.
I am positive their will be baby giggles and innocent smiles to match. I am sure there will be a few heartaches along the way, and that is okay.
I am writing this blog to document my life's journeys. One day I will read through this honest journal and remember the simple days of being a young mother. I want to engrave in my memory each chubby roll and every dimple.
Every smile, giggle and grin.
The pure smell of baby breath.
The sound of baby chatter,
and the overwhelming, unconditional love I never knew existed inside of me.
I don't know the benefit of making my blog public. Maybe it is to find those individuals who can relate. Maybe my simple journey will inspire another to write and to document their own life adventure.
At the end of the day, this is me, and this is my little family. We are venturing into a new chapter in our life where we have left close friends and family. We don't know anyone, we aren't in a familiar place, and we don't have anything but each other. We will take it one day at a time and are excited to begin this new journey. Through our simple, daily life experiences, I hope that our family can share relatable peace, comfort and love.
